Shortly after the marriage, Miss B discovered that her husband had no job and the wedding was organised and paid for by his family. Apparently, he's the first son in the family and they've been desperately trying to get him a wife and in what did seem like Miss B's desperation to get married, she failed to ask the right questions or perhaps asked but didn't get the right answers. News reaching us just recently confirmed that the marriage has broken down and the girl's family has now repaid the dowry. All this has happened within the last 6 months, would you believe it.
The reason I wanted to share this story is to highlight what I perceive as the unfairness in our culture that continually turns our young women into this desperate frenzy to get married. Don't get me wrong, I am pro-marriage and firm believer in the institution of marriage but when the only way women can gain acceptance and respect is to get married regardless of whom they do so to then we have real problems. It always strikes me that in Nigeria, whatever you achieve as a woman, be it in business, education, politics, you name it, there's always a question mark over you as long as you don't have the prefix, Mrs before your name. In my view, this is at the heart of why desperation by some Nigerian women to get married has reached fever pitch, which makes it almost inevitable for many to settle for anyone wearing a trouser and supposedly a manhood down below.
Nigerian women also need to take some responsibility and begin to redefine what it means to be a successful woman. As much as it would be nice to have a good education and be successful in whatever career path you choose, the brutal reality is that not every woman will get married. Don't ask me why because it has always been that way and will continue to remain so. The same way I believe not every Nigerian man deserves to get married to a woman or should in fact. Being a man shouldn't just give anyone the free passage to a woman who has probably being successful in her own right but needs to crown her 'success' by getting married to man who hasn't bothered to get a life.
I hope Miss B can now rebuild her life and try to be successful with whatever she chooses and if the right man turns up whom she at least knows something about then marriage may be worth a second chance.