Sunday, 23 October 2011
Shortly after the marriage, Miss B discovered that her husband had no job and the wedding was organised and paid for by his family. Apparently, he's the first son in the family and they've been desperately trying to get him a wife and in what did seem like Miss B's desperation to get married, she failed to ask the right questions or perhaps asked but didn't get the right answers. News reaching us just recently confirmed that the marriage has broken down and the girl's family has now repaid the dowry. All this has happened within the last 6 months, would you believe it.
The reason I wanted to share this story is to highlight what I perceive as the unfairness in our culture that continually turns our young women into this desperate frenzy to get married. Don't get me wrong, I am pro-marriage and firm believer in the institution of marriage but when the only way women can gain acceptance and respect is to get married regardless of whom they do so to then we have real problems. It always strikes me that in Nigeria, whatever you achieve as a woman, be it in business, education, politics, you name it, there's always a question mark over you as long as you don't have the prefix, Mrs before your name. In my view, this is at the heart of why desperation by some Nigerian women to get married has reached fever pitch, which makes it almost inevitable for many to settle for anyone wearing a trouser and supposedly a manhood down below.
Nigerian women also need to take some responsibility and begin to redefine what it means to be a successful woman. As much as it would be nice to have a good education and be successful in whatever career path you choose, the brutal reality is that not every woman will get married. Don't ask me why because it has always been that way and will continue to remain so. The same way I believe not every Nigerian man deserves to get married to a woman or should in fact. Being a man shouldn't just give anyone the free passage to a woman who has probably being successful in her own right but needs to crown her 'success' by getting married to man who hasn't bothered to get a life.
I hope Miss B can now rebuild her life and try to be successful with whatever she chooses and if the right man turns up whom she at least knows something about then marriage may be worth a second chance.
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Let me state the rules of the 'One Lovely Blog Award'
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.. (I have already done this)
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs and let them know about it.
Lovely blog rules:
I. Answer the questions below
II. Tell seven random things about yourself
III. Pass the award to 15 other bloggers
1. Favourite Colour? Blue. Perhaps because it's seen as a masculine colour which I'm not sure about but I've always liked it ever since I was a child.
2. Favourite song? I'm not too sure but what I would say is that I like songs with deep philosophical meanings. Lately, I've been listening to music by Osita Osadebe and Mike Ejeagha.
3. Favourite Dessert? I wasn't brought up eating desserts so not something I indulge in but my sister makes some very delightful rice pudding which I get to eat when I go over to visit her.
4. What puts you off? I don't like dealing with people who are unreliable or who I can't hold to their words. Trust is what I treasure most in people but sadly it's become more of a rarity these days.
5. Your favourite pet? I don't have any pet and I don't want one either. Not my thing, sorry.
6. Black or white? Black. I quite like black shirts and t-shirts. My wife thinks I look cool wearing them.
7. Your biggest fear? Believe it or not I haven't got any but I hate failure so I guess fear of failure could be my biggest fear.
8. Everyday Attitude? Staying positive and always looking at the big picture.
9. Your best feature? hmmm...I really don't know. As someone created in the image of God, I would like to think I have God-like features.
10. What is perfection? The world we live in is a product of imperfection. I would need to be in heaven to answer this one because in my view that is the only place where perfection exists.
11. Guilty pleasure? I'm happily married so I don't want to be guilty of any pleasure :)
Seven random things about me
1. I believe in humility in whatever you do or achieve. I also believe whatever gifts or talents we have come from God and we should be able to share without fuss to other people.
2. I'm a big sports fan and I particularly follow football, tennis and athletics. I support Arsenal football club even though they are currently not doing well in the English premiership.
3. I take great pleasure in using whatever skills or God given talent I have to help other people to succeed. Perhaps it's no surprise I ended becoming a teacher and mentor.
4. I believe what you are is what you eat. I stay away from junk food and only eat it occasionally as a treat. I've applied the same principle in bringing up my children and so far it's working.
5. The best gifts I've ever received are my two children. After a hard day's work and when you're losing the will to live, coming home to see them smiling like they always do, is the best feeling in the world.
6. I don't watch too many movies but my most memorable movie is 'Sleeping with the Enemy' by Julia Roberts. It kept me hooked from start to finish.
7. I don't have any regret in life because I believe everything happens for a reason. There's no need worrying about things that you can't change or control but rather focus on the positives in life.
I am going to tag the following blogs as part of the rules of the nomination process and I think it's only fair I nominate all blogs that follow me in no particular order. Some of which are newly discovered and others I would describe as versatile:
Luciano (Luciano's world)
Perfectless Girl (I'm not Perfect)
Straight from the Revolutionist's pen
Naija Mum in London
Imo State Blog
It's nice to be back again blogging, hopefully normal blogging service will resume on this blog next week. See you then.
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